Valentine’s Day is usually a holiday associated with love, excessive amounts of chocolates and flowers and extravagant dinners or excursions from loved ones. However, not every person in a relationship gets excited for Valentine’s Day and the treats it holds. For some people in relationships, Valentine’s Day serves as a day where flowers and chocolate serve as more of an apology for previous (or future) actions in abusive relationships.
The messages associated with Valentine’s Day can be more on the possessive side, spreading messages like “Be Mine” or “You’re the only one” etc. While to people in non-abusive relationships, these might sound like wonderful compliments and an expression of someone’s undying love for them, not everyone has that experience.
These are signs of an abusive relationship according to YourTango (http://www.yourtango.com/experts/wendy-kay/avoid-abusive-relationship-15-signs-abuser-expert). If you’re significant other is doing any of these things, you need to reevaluate your relationship and even consider trying to leave the relationship, if possible:
- He or she pushes for quick involvement
- There’s constant jealousy
- He or she is controlling
- He or she has very unrealistic expectations
- There’s isolation
- He or she blames others for their mistakes
- He or she makes everyone else responsible for their feelings
- He or she is hyper sensitive
- He or she is cruel to animals and children
- He or she uses “playful” force during sex
- There’s verbal abuse
- There are rigid gender roles in the relationship
- He or she has sudden mood swings
- He or she has a past of battering
- He or she threatens violence
Although Valentine’s Day is usually associated with relationships, make sure that you’re in a healthy relationship this Valentine’s day. You should make sure that you love yourself before you love someone else.
Yelena Wermers is the intern at the Corporate Alliance. Yelena is currently studying abroad in London from the University of Pittsburgh where she studies Marketing and Supply Chain Management.